Back in March we had an apple juice "tea" party play group.  There were cucumber, tuna salad, egg salad, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into stars, circles and hearts, and flowers, veggies and dip, and of course little cakes.  It was fun!  We got the kids all sugared up and then sent them outside to play while the grown ups played Just Dance2.  It's nice being able to do fun stuff with my friends and their kids.

This was taken 4-11-11, yes that is SNOW

The kids are growing up so fast!  Every time I look at the boy he seems to have grown another couple inches, his pant cuffs hanging several inches above his ankles, and his sleeves creeping up to his elbows.  And don't even get me started on the little girl.  She is growing too, and all the 3T clothes that she was drowning in like... yesterday, now fit her.

While Ruby's sheets were being washed, she lined all her babies up in the hallway so they could take a nap

And besides growing, we have the usual two year old stuff going on and it's pretty funny.  The other day the kids were over at "damma and pappa wee's" and getting ready for bed.  Gamma got the kids bathed and dressed then told them she was going to go get her jammies on.  Little girl said, "you nakee?  I come."  Gamma laughed and went to her room followed by little girl and went into her room.  Little girl sat down on the step and watched gamma change into her jammies.  Apparently disappointed by the fact that gamma still had underwear on when she changed said, "you NOT nakee." and got up and left.  Gotta love curious little kids.

She loves to color, we go through a lot of paper

She must get her sense of style from her dad

The thing you can't see about this picture are the unicorn tights she is also wearing.  This outfit was fantastic.

New Sunday dress

New Sunday duds

Cheesy little goof balls

We have also decided to Home School Alexander.  We are mostly worried that he will be bored and then act out and get labeled a bad kid.  We'll see how it goes.  We are going to clean out the Moose room and turn it into the school room.  I am also going to be a little more structured than most home school folks because I think that's what he is going to need.  A regular schedule that he can count on most every day.  I'll keep everyone updated on how that turns out.

Birthday Party=Birthday Cake

First off, I rarely have original ideas. The butter cream roses and the vertical layer cake tutorials can be found HERE. It's a beautiful, delicious blog... you should check it out.

Secondly, there are tutorials on how to make gelatin bows, butterfly wings and flowers all over the net... but HERE is one if you don't have time to search.

Vanilla Butter cream Roses over a Devils Food and Yellow vertical layer cake

before I sprayed it with yellow and pink food coloring

I am on the Relief Society (R.S.) meeting planning committee with several wonderful ladies. We've been planning the R.S. Birthday party for a while now, and it sure has given me a greater appreciation for all the work that goes into functions like these. It's a LOT of work, and takes a lot of planning and people to pull things off, more than I ever realized.

One of the committee’s main goals this year is to make sure that the meetings we plan are worth while for the sisters to take time out of their day, away from their families, to go to. The R.S. Birthday Party is the one big activities of the year, so we wanted it to be a good one with all the essential elements: Spiritual content, lots of visiting, good information, and good food.

Same cake as white one above after I sprayed it with the food coloring

The birthday party tag line this year was "Learning from the Past". We had a delicious dinner of lasagna, bread sticks and salad. Then there were demonstrations on Writing a Family History, Basic Quilting, and Old World Bread Making. Plus we had a butter churning competition.

I kid you not, we had Butter. Churning. Competition. Can you say, awesome?! :)

Last, but certainly not least, we had a short program/narration about all the past General R.S. presidents while we ate birthday cake.

So, as part of the committee I suggested we ask for volunteers from the ward sisters to make and bring simple birthday cakes to double as the dessert and the table center pieces. This was a great idea… in concept. Originally we needed 8 cakes, and then after sending around a sign up sheet to see how many people would be coming, we determined we would only need 6. We had plenty of people signed up… and then life happened. People that signed up, had other commitments, were helping with other parts of the activity, or just couldn't do it. So, I volunteered to make 3 cakes. No biggie. I saw it as an opportunity to try out some things I’ve wanted to try, and practice some other cake decorating skills. We ended up with 8 cakes after all…but you can never have too much cake.

Vertical Layer cake

So, I spent the week baking, making fillings, fondant and a really cool bow made from gelatin, saving the final decorating till the day of. Guess who decided to not feel good that day. *sigh* Sweet little Ruby either had a cold or was teething or something, but she came crying to me every 5 minutes wanting to be held. I am not really complaining, I love it when I get to cuddle the cute little thing, but something that should have taken only a couple hours tops… took ALL day.

Another thing I’ve found is inevitable when I have a lot of baking to do: pain…arthritic flare up, hip, back, knee and joint pain. You name it; I have a lot of it. I don’t know how much of it is stress related, and how much is just sheer dumb luck. But it was there, and by the end of the day I could barely walk. I figured I’ve been relatively pain free for the last few weeks, so I was due.

The party was great success! We had a really good turn out, and the demonstrations were incredible.

Devils Food and yellow vertical layer cake with sour cream chocolate fudge frosting

Can I just take some time to brag about the wonderful sisters in my ward? They are amazing to me! Talk about magnifying your callings and sharing talents. I love them all and they are great examples to me. I find that most of the time I do the bare minimum possible to get by. Not these ladies. Nor their husbands for that matter… what good support they are to their wives.

Our R.S. President, Melita Welling is incredible. She is so talented and I learn something new about her every day. She made all the bread sticks for the dinner and they were wonderful. AND she made a cake (she wasn’t supposed to since she made the bread sticks, but she did anyway)… I didn’t get any of it but everyone was raving about it.

Danielle Underwood did the beginning quilting demonstration. She made little quilt squares, and brought embroidery hoops to show people the basic hand quilting stitch. She also brought a couple of her beautiful quilts to give ideas. Our R.S. president also put up a baby quilt to show people how to tie a quilt as well. I take for granted that most people know how to do these things… but there are actually many who don’t. Danielle also did a lot of the set up, and her husband helped out a lot in the kitchen.

Gaye Willis set up a beautiful display on writing a Family History. This is something that I loved to look at and get ideas from. I’ve always been horrible about journaling, (I’m trying to blog more) but there are so many other elements involved, and so many different things you can do. Her insights and tips were terrific, as was the display.

Sour Cream white cake with Lime curd filling,

coconut flavored marshmallow fondant,

and gelatin bow

Tamara Criddle had a delicious display on old world bread making, and using a stone for baking.She had information sheets on yeasts, several different recipes and of course, some bread to taste. The rosemary and sea salt bread was to die for! Now I have more recipes to try out… shucks.

We also did butter churning in pint jars. There was one on each table for everyone to shake. And Victoria Adams had such a good idea to encourage people to keep shaking the jar and not give up, she bought candy bars to use as a prize to the table who churned their butter first. It was fun to watch everyone shaking their jar full of cream, everyone taking a…churn. Ha, ha.

Angela Babcock got volunteers for narrations about the past General R.S. Presidents, and Brother Willis put together a slide show of each of their pictures. It was really nice, and interesting to hear about all of them and some of the hardships they endured. What incredible women!

In my pain induced state, I failed to take pictures of everyone’s beautiful displays. I am so mad at myself!! I remembered to take pictures of my cakes, of course. Ever remembering and relieved that they were finished and I could move onto my next project. But I didn't take pictures of the others. I am so lame some times, ugh! Anyway… I am so happy that it was a success, and I am so grateful for the ladies in my life that are always teaching me something, and supporting me in all that I do.

Here comes Peter Cotton Tail...

I am a baker. I love to make yummy bread, and cakes and other delicious goodies. But, I don’t like to make cookies. I’m not sure why, but I find it boring! Just the monotony of ball, after ball, after ball, of dough…pan, after pan, in, and out of the oven. Ugh! When will it ever end?!!! Give me a bar cookie any day. Mix the dough, squish it into a 9x13 pan, bake it, slice it, and your done. That’s my kind of treat. Then, there are sugar cookies. (insert ominous music here)

Making cookies in my house is a chore. I have two fantastic helpers that will be master chefs one day, I’m sure of it. But for now, they are 2 and 5. Nuff said. They help turn the mixer on, taste, add the ingredients, taste, roll out the dough, taste. It takes me 3 times as long to make cookies with my two helpers than it does by myself, but I don’t often make goodies for us (and when I am baking for other people I don’t let them get near enough to even smell them)… so I can’t very well tell them they can’t help when it’s for us to eat…. Anyway….

Like I said, I don’t like to make cookies. But, every once and a while I get a “wild hare” (he, he) to create some beautiful sugar cookies. It should be easy, right? A couple years back I bought this adorable cookie cutter and was determined to make cookies for all Xander’s friends. Right. That stinking cookie took up so much dough, it was insane. And then the whole “line and fill” method seems like it should be easy enough, but doing anything with a kid on your lap "helping"brings a whole new challenge.

I guess the few years since the flower cookie was long enough to help me forget the joys of the beautiful stacked monstrosities called sugar cookies, because the other day I bought a cookie cutter for 3D air plane at a killer sale. It was awesome. It was still kind of a pain in the butt, but for the most part not too bad. So my hubby and I looked around online to see what other 3D cutters we could find. Then, there it was… the bunny. It was so cute! I just had to have it… then I looked at the price. Yikes!! I am all for buying American made and supporting small business and what not but SERIOUSLY??? I decided I didn’t need to have it so badly after all.

That darn bunny… I just couldn’t get it out of my head, so I bought it. I know, I know… but it is SO cute (and we would be getting our tax refund soon, so hey)!! I got the cutter and looked at it for days and days. I knew it would be time consuming and I was nervous about the whole sugar cookie thing but I had to try it out. So, Tuesday rolls around and I break down and make cookie dough with the kids. The cookie cutter manufacturer recommends baking the similar sized pieces together so here we go with the pans and pans of cookies thing. Then, life happened. I put the cookie bits and pieces in a gallon sized zip bag and left them on the counter until Thursday, after much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (from the kids) I decided I better get those darn cookies frosted.

The results? MARVELOUS! They are SO cute, cute, cute, cute. I don’t often (in seriousness) gush over my own baked goods, but gosh darn it they are SO CUTE!!! And, even though they were a week old when we finally ate them, they were tasty too! Completed, they are the equivalent of 5 sugar cookies, but if you notice, they are missing the back leg (which you can’t really see because of the view). I had to let my kiddos eat a cookie so they’d leave me alone till they were completed and photographed. (Cause anything that takes me a week to complete deserves a posted photo)

These were just the trial run, and my focus group (i.e. Mother-in-law, kiddos, hubby and friends) helped me come up with ideas to make them even cuter, (like cotton candy tails) which makes me even more excited. That said, I will be selling these adorable cookies this Easter to try to make up for what I spent on the cutter. $5 for the unfrosted cookie “kit” and $7.50 frosted. I would even ship them (un-assembled) to anyone out of Alaska who is interested in purchasing some. (chocolate flavor also available)

Toilet Paper tubes and "twying".

Did you ever use a bathroom at my house and wonder why there are piles and piles of empty toilet paper tubes? Well, it's amazing what you can make with them, and I couldn't even begin to think of all the things, but I save them knowing that they will get used. I bet Xander has 5 ideas in his head as we speak.

Someone once told me that children who grow up in cluttered homes are more creative than those who don't. If that is true, my children will be creative geniuses. Xander demonstrates this on a daily basis. Give that kid a roll of scotch tape, some paper, markers, and some string and the kid can create anything. Needless to say, we buy scotch tape in bulk at Costco. $12 is a small price to pay for a kiddos love and admiration, and hours and hours of entertainment.

Xander's Toilet Paper Tube Tank

On a different note, Ruby is cuter than ever. She is talking more, which is hilarious. She has her own little accent, and starts every word with a T sound. Clothes is toes, fell it tell and so on. I have especially been working on teaching her how to say feet. She might be twelve and stuttering with the F sound, but at least she wont be telling people to tickle her "tits" which is what it sounds like the way she says it now. It's funny as all get out.

The other night Ken had to work late, then go do his home teaching, so I was getting the kids ready for bed myself. I was drying Ruby off and telling her that we'd brush her teeth, get pj's on and then read books, say prayers and go to bed. She looks up at me all wet and cute in her flower petal towel, and says "I just go to my room and Trwy." Oh Ruby, why are you going to go to your room and cry? "I want daddy sing me Siwent Night." Ruby, I can sing you Silent Night.

Then, I got the look. "I want DADDY sing me Siwent Night." Okay. I put her to bed, but the little stinker stayed awake till daddy came home and sang to her.

Who's chopped liver? Um, that would be me.

Here's a video of Ruby and her cute words.

Happy Birthday

I have been wanting to bake a cake. This shouldn't be such a big deal except I don't like to bake things unless they will be leaving my house. That way, we don't eat them. It seems funny to me that I do all this baking but hardly any of it is for my family. So little in fact, that when I tell Xander I am making something, he always asks "for who?" and when I tell him it's for us, he'll ask me over, and over again to make sure it's really for us.

Yesterday was my friends birthday. She lives thousands of miles away in TX. I told her I'd make a cake in honor of her birthday. Sounded like a good enough excuse to me. Coincidentally, a friend of mine sent me a link to someones beautiful blog and I felt inspired by it. Then at lunch I ate an orange and it was beautiful, and fragrant, and delicious... and I was inspired by it as well. I also have a bunch of new pans that I've been wanting to try out, homemade caramel, and ganache to use up as well. So... this cake served a great many purposes today.

Happy Birthday Marie, I hope it was a good one! And thanks for giving me an excuse to make this orange cake, with caramel filling coated in dark chocolate orange ganache... made in one of my new oval shaped pans.

The Mystery Puddle

The other day after sending Xander to his room for a time out, we discovered a puddle.

I asked Xander what the puddle was from and said he did not know. We searched all over for a rogue sippy cup or some leak or something to no avail. Again, I asked Xander where the very large puddle came from and he said he wasn't sure, but maybe the water jumped out of the toilet or maybe Ruby put it there or something.

I didn't feel that he was lying to me about not knowing how the puddle got there, but I didn't feel like he didn't know either, if that makes sense. It was strange! I asked him if he peed on the floor in his room and he said no. The puddle didn't smell like pee, but it didn't NOT smell like pee, yet pee was the only thing I could think of that could have created this particular mystery puddle. If Xander had realized he'd peed on the floor he would have told me... I think.

I made him clean up the puddle and then sanitized the floor just in case. He then removed the towel to hang it up and dry. Today I was moving the towel to wash it and guess what?? It smelled like pee. Go figure.

Me: Xander, guess what?

Xander: What mom?

Me: Turns out that puddle in your room was pee after all!

Xander: How very interesting!

Man, this kid kills me. I told my mom in law this story and she told me that he's probably sleep walking. Hooray.

Laughter is the best medicine.

I realize it's been ages since I've blogged. I put tons of stuff on Facebook but I should be putting it here instead. I'll try to get better.

Above is a fun little clip that I didn't put on Facebook. Don't worry, I had a good hold of her(and she had a good hold of me)

We are just chugging along, day by day. Can't expect more than that, can you?

Xander has been taking swimming lessons on Saturday mornings and is trying to get over his fear of water in his ears. He wears ear plugs and a band around his ears but he still has some issues. The other day while at swimming lessons he decided that he needed to go potty and got out of the pool (thank goodness) and then pulled his swim trunks down and ran for the mens room. Everyone got quite a show. We are working with him and reminding him that he really needs to wait until he's in the bathroom to take his pants down. He did the same thing at church during primary class, announced that he needed to go to the bathroom, pulled his pants down and then ran down the hall to the bathroom. *sigh* Maybe they will change the class name to moon beams instead of sunbeams.

Xander turned 4 years and he had "lots of parties". On his actual birthday, we went to our friends the Gho's house and had McDonalds Happy Meals, then we did preschool and Sister Gho made Xander a race car cake. Xander helped to frost it then we all enjoyed it. After that I had to go home to make a special order cake for "LOST" season premiere. Xander also got to decorate a little birthday cake all by himself. I never knew you could fit so many sprinkles on a 4 inch cake. It was impressive. Then we went to Grandma and Papas for our regular Tuesday night dinner where we broke out in a crazy pancake fight. Yeah, I said it. Pancake Fight. Fun was had by all.

The following Saturday we had an official Birthday party for Xander, his friends and their families. Someone had given us 3 gallons of Vanilla Ice Cream and 3 gallons of Chocolate Ice Cream and we decided that it would be fun to have an Ice Cream Sundae party(mostly cause I wanted my freezer space back as we don't eat ice cream too often). Xander helped me make some cupcakes with Lightening McQueen cupcake wrappers and "really hard, gross candies" on top that were shaped like Lightening McQueen and Mater. We also got a couple pizza's from Papa Murphy so there was actual food to go along with the sugar involved in the sundaes. We had chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, pineapple sauce, strawberry sauce, warm marshmallow fluff, warmed peanut butter, coconut, chocolate chips, all kinds of candy sprinkles, nuts, cherries, bananas and whipped cream. The kids were in sugar heaven. "Just give them a little scoop of ice cream, all they really want is the toppings"

Xander as usual has been testing me every day. Just yesterday he took his fork lift toy and poked Ruby in the eyes. I then sent him back to his room where he was told he had to clean it before I would let him out. He was back there for quite a while, and at one point yelled at me "Mom, I need some compassion here!" It's hard to be mad at that smart little kid, but I think he's been watching Veggie Tales- Jonah a few too many times.

Ruby is cute as ever. I just love to kiss and squish her. She is such a different little spirit than her brother. She is refreshing and sweet and I just love her to pieces. I always think of the poem about what little girls and boys are made of when I think of Ruby. Her brother is definitely made of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, where Ruby is made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

Ruby also talks up a storm and sings little songs. Sometimes she sings herself to sleep. We don't understand any of it, but it's cute just the same. She has her own little language and I can't wait until she learns English. I'm sure that she has all kinds of interesting things to say. Despite how mean Xander is too her, she still loves him and is always giving him hugs and kisses. She always has to be doing what we are doing, doesn't want to be left out of anything. If I'm sitting at the table reading cook books, she's got to be doing the same. She is also very good at coloring. It's fun to watch because when Xander was her age, all he was interested in doing was stacking the markers end to end. Ruby also LOVES food. She is always the first one ready to go at the dinner table, and her favorite place to play is in the pantry. She shakes all the cans and is often caught trying to get at the chocolate chips.

Well, It's time to go clean up the hurricane that has occurred while I've been typing away.

Quick Update

Well, The holidays have come and gone and now January 2010 is almost halfway through. Time sure does breeze on by when we are having fun.

I quit delivering newspapers back at the end of Sept. and have been putting off finding a job, stretching every last penny to keep me home as long as possible.

Xander and I have doing at home preschool with our friends the GHO's twice a week learning about the human body. They do pretty good for 15 minutes then play the rest of the time. Sometimes we do activities that keep their attention for longer periods. We stopped doing preschool over the holidays, hopefully we'll start up again soon and start working on letters and numbers.

Christmas was nice, we were all spoiled as usual. Ken got a Kindle and a new motorcycle helmet and I got Xtratuff boots and two different kind of cupcake displays from his folks. My mom got me a nice new jacket and some fleece jammies. Xander got a smart cycle video game (a stationary bike with video games that encourages him to get out some energy in other ways than picking on Ruby) and he also got a really neat doll house that is a fire/police station with furniture and the works. Ruby got a little people amusement park and Ragedy and and Andy dolls.

We weren't able to get off Christmas Drama free... Xander cried when he went through his stocking and didn't find a camera that he thought for sure Santa would leave for him. He continued to cry for a couple days about the lack of camera until one day he noticed his stocking hung up and full of underwear... and a camera with a note from Santa, saying that he found the camera stuck between the cushions in his sleigh and was sorry he missed it on Christmas day. He has taken literally hundreds of photos. One of these days we'll have to go through them and see if there are any worth posting.

And, being the masochist that I am, have been delivering papers again starting the last week of December. The guy that took my routes over was hospitalized and shipped to Seattle and I was the only person that knew the routes. It's been a good reminder to me why I quit, but also has been a blessing to have the money. I've also been offered a smallish route of 70 papers to do until Aug. As much as I hate papers, I think I hate papers less than I hate standing on my feet working retail so I think I'm going to do it.

Xander's 4th Birthday is coming up and he wants me to make helicopter cupcakes again. I don't want to! This would be the 3rd year in a row, so we are trying to make him want something different. I'm trying to set up a birthday party at our little planetarium here, but if that doesn't work out, I'm not sure what we'll do.

Ruby is growing so fast but still isn't talking. She says okay, and all done, and mommy and daddy but that's it. She talked a lot more before she turned one than she does any more. It's a little frustrating. I've been good about not saying "I can't wait until..." since they grow really fast anyway, but I can't wait until she talks because I'm sure she's got interesting things to say.

She's also discovered that she's good at climbing. She mastered the kitchen chairs and sat there grinning most of day, very pleased with herself and feeling like a big girl. Then yesterday I caught her on the kitchen table with the sponge scrubbing away. I would have taken a picture but our camera is on the fritz... I guess I should have grabbed Xander's - oh well!

Ken is officially in his new job at GHS and is quite happy. Now the Director needs to retire so he can move into that position and finally get paid for doing the work he's been doing all along.

I haven't been baking much :( but I do get to bake for a tea party this weekend so that should be fun. I'm making small chocolate cupcakes, sugary gingersnaps, lemon tea cookies and blueberry scones. Fun!

SO sad

A while back I spent 2 hours blogging, catching up on everything and recording things so I wouldn't forget. I guess the website was having issues that night because it's all gone. I want to cry! I know some of the things I posted I will never remember.

One thing I do remember:
Xander's pooh. I'm sorry but it's too funny not to share. One day Xander had decided he was going to wipe himself which was a huge failure. He had pooh EVERYWHERE on him and in the bathroom. I was just finishing cleaning him up (he had assumed the position and had his butt in the air) when Ruby walked into the bathroom and tripped. Her face literally smacked his butt. Sad, but funny. Of course she had her face scrubbed and sanitized, poor little girl.

The other day, Xander had something in his eye. He told me "mom, there's something in my eye that is making the "cry" come out." Too cute.

I've been teaching Xander old poems and songs that GGG used to tell us. He is so smart, after a couple mornings of reading it to him he then knows it by heart. I'm trying to post them to youtube, but it's the first time I've done that so I hope it works.

Ruby is a cute as ever and bless her heart is my calming balance to Xander's busy-busy. My mom sent her some boots that she loves and she wears them around all day. The other day I was looking for her and calling out to her and she didn't answer (she says "what?") I was trying to put her down for a nap. I found her hiding and laughing in the pantry. Little sneaky booger.

I've also been baking like crazy and have had fun doing that and now I need to really get serious about finding a job. Boooo.

A One Legged Man in His Skivvies

(Original Blog was posted on Myspace about 2.5 years ago)

Got your attention, didn’t it? It certainly got mine at about 4 am this morning.
I know I have mentioned that route M400 is boring, and it is, but every once and a while something fantastic happens. And then, there are days like today. Why was this man standing in his open doorway in his underwear? Your guess is as good as mine. Why did he give ME a look of disgust and then slam the door as I walked up to his “porch” to deliver his paper? Your guess is as good as mine. Why did this man only have one leg? Don’t know. But probably the thing that irks me the most about this situation is that this main is a pain. He complains constantly about the delivery of his paper. If it’s a minute late, he calls the paper and complains. If the paper isn’t exactly right in front of his door, he calls the paper and tells them he didn’t get it. My question is, why can’t I call the paper and tell them I refuse to deliver to one legged men who stand naked in their open doorways at 4 in the morning? I leave you with that.

Post Script... The man only has one leg because he lost it due to diabetes, and he was a pain because he is lonely and has nothing better to do than wait for his paper. He and I worked out our issues. I did, on occasion, still have to catch a glimpse of him in his underwear but, after 3 years on the road delivering papers... there are worse things. Believe me.

Speak Now or Forever hold your pee!

(Original Blog was posted on Myspace 3 years ago)

Something that one might not think about when taking a job that happens in the "wee" hours of the morning is the availability of a toilet. Not a problem down south where things are open 24/7, but in the area where I deliver papers (ironically once the largest city in Alaska) there isn't anything open except a couple bars, but even then only until 3 on a Friday or Saturday. This does me no good.

On my route I have to run stairs, stairs and more stairs. I get out of the car, back in the car, do 50 three point turns (that are rarely only 3 points) in order to get out of narrows streets and parking lots, and I then run more stairs. How come in an apartment building of 20, I deliver only to 2 people and both of them would be on the top floor? Anyway, doing all this makes me hot… and thirsty. The problem with being thirsty is that I then want to drink water.

Often as I run the route I need to go to the bathroom. This isn’t too big a deal while I’m sitting in the van driving around, but it becomes a problem when I have to get out and run around, and it’s even worse when it’s raining and cold. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about finding a dark area to go pee. This is something that’s not a big deal to guys, but takes a bit more of an effort for women. To make matters even worse, on 2nd St. there was a random port-a-potty calling my name. Random I say? Well, to me a port-a-potty is random if it’s sitting at the end of someone’s driveway in a residential area. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to check that potty out but didn’t because I’m chicken. Something about that potty didn’t sit right with me, maybe because it seemed mostly to be there just to mock me in my pain.

One day in particular my urge to go was killing me more than usual and slowing me down. I remembered the baseball park over at Sandy Beach and drove down there to check out the public restrooms that are plentiful down by the fields. Of course they were locked – go figure. I then remembered my father in law telling me there was a port-a-potty down on the pier so I hopped back in my van and drove down to the dock. I grabbed the flash light and braved the dark green closet. I was grateful for the cold weather as I believe it helped with the smell, I did my business and went on my way. Thank you dear green giant, you are my friend.

Lately my husband has been helping me with the route because of snow, snow and more snow. He’s one of those people who needs caffeine, and also is one of those people with small bladders. When ever we get close to the road that leads to the pier I say “speak now or forever hold your pee!” The other day, he actually needed to go so we drove down there. He was a gentleman as usual and let me go first. Man, was the level getting high in there. I didn’t want to risk that kind of back splash so I passed on the potty and went back to the van to report the situation to Ken. He decided he’d pass on it too and we haven’t been back since.

Now instead of racing to the potty, Ken takes his “time” in certain areas and has threatened to write “Carrie was here” in the snow all along the route. Hey, I think it would be funny!

“Praise Jah” and my biggest paper delivery fear…

(Original Blog was posted on Myspace 3 years ago)

Because of my determination to be able to stay home, when they offered me a paper route on Douglas I took it. For those who may not be familiar with the City and Borough of Juneau, for a person who lives in the Mendenhall Valley to take a paper route on Douglas Island is pretty ridiculous. My route is a good 20 minute drive away from where I live. No biggie except for the fact that we have only one car, I don’t have a cell phone, and Ken is one of the hardest people in the whole wide world to wake up.

When someone starts a paper route, they have an employee of the paper run the route with you for a couple days until they think you can handle it. So, by the time I was able to run the route 2 or 3 times by myself, I started regretting my decision. (Its funny how cruising around by yourself at 2 or 3 in the morning can get a person really thinking.) The area I deliver too is pretty dark and pretty spooky some mornings. I started thinking of worse case scenarios and then started figuring out how much more gas I was using… anything to try to convince the Juneau Empire that they needed to give me a route in the Valley. What it came down to is this: I have our only car, 20 minutes away from our home, if something happened i.e. Keys locked in car, car wreck, hit a deer, chased by a bear, you name it, I would be Sh** out of luck and have no cell phone to call for help.

The moral of this story is: Don’t dwell on the negative because it WILL happen.

The other day I was cruising along, delivering papers at record speed when I was coming up to what is about the halfway point of the route, the low income housing. I parked my van, left it running with the hazard lights on and the door partially open and ran up the stairs to deliver to the first two apartments. My van is brand new this year and has sensors so that if your keys are in the ignition, you can’t lock the doors unless you use the key fob while standing outside the van. This is how it’s supposed to work anyway…

I felt like I was in a horror flick watching the victim step into a trap….. As I pulled on the handle to open the door I watch as the lock simultaneously lowered into locked position and naturally a string of technically terms flowed from my lips. No, no, no, no, no! I ran from door to door then to the back hatch praying that one of the doors would be open – no such luck. I peered through the window at the glowing clock on the dash
4:00 am
I then slowly peered to my right and looked longingly at my sweatshirt and coat that lay on the seat as the wind picked up and it started to rain –no joke – this stuff only happens on TV, right? Stranger than fiction, the story of my life. Anyway…

I had no choice but to wander and look for lights on somewhere within the low income housing and pray the person whose door I knocked on wasn’t a crazed mad person.
As I wandered, I saw the light of a TV shining through the shaded windows. And little kids bikes, even better, and a sign written in what looked like children’s handwriting saying “praise Jah” Great, they’re religious too. I stepped into the dark doorway and knocked on the door. The door opened about two inches and I was hit with so much cigarette smoke I thought I’d die of second hand then and there. The man was short, and from what I could see, naked. I told him I was sorry for disturbing him and that I was delivering papers, my keys were locked in the car and I was wondering if I could use his phone. He shut the door and then moments later opened the door just wide enough to slip a cell phone through as he said “when you’re done, leave it just inside the door.”
I called the house knowing the chances of Ken picking up were slim… ringing… no answer. I tried again with no luck. I then called his “on call” work cell phone hoping the different ring tone would snap him awake so that he’d answer – ha! No such luck. I then called Ken’s parents, ringing and then the answering machine picked up. (This is where I really start to freak) I called Ken’s parents one more time and finally got an answer. I quickly relayed my story and Ken’s dad asked if Ken would shoot him if he went to wake him up. (This is a legitimate question as Ken used to sleep with a gun) I told him that I broke Ken of that habit so he should be okay. I explained where I was and hung up the phone. I slowly opened the door, slipped the cell phone through and placed it on the floor.

I walked back to the van (still running, hazards blinking, radio blaring, wipers swishing) and spread myself out over the front of it to keep warm. Two people drove past without even slowing down to see if I needed help. 45 minutes later, my in-laws pulled up and handed me Ken’s key. I said thank you-thank you, jumped into my van and rushed off to finish the last of my route since the papers need to be delivered by 6 am or else they charge me. Because every story needs irony, as I was delivering to the Douglas Library (with my hazards on due to multiple stops) and a cop slowed down to see if I was okay.
*sigh*

I now deliver papers with Ken’s key in my pocket at all times.

Stick a Fork in me, I'm DONE!!!!

This morning was my final morning delivering newspapers. I'm feeling a tad nostalgic. 3 years is a very long time to do something like that. I can't believe there are a couple of newspaper carriers that have done it for 9 or even 12 years. I thought I was a masochist... I guess there are degree's of masochism and mine is on the low end.
I am so grateful to be able to get some sleep, and even more so that my kids sleep through the night. But, I will at times miss delivering papers. I like driving fast, on the wrong side of the road, with the windows down, blasting the radio, flinging projectiles at houses. I like the time alone to think, and to daydream. I like to see the wildlife- bears, rabbits (there is one that roams free between Gee St. and Long Run Dr.) dear, and, even porcupines, despite the apparent fact that they have it out for me. I like to watch the sunrise and see the phases of the moon. There are many times the moon is blood red, and it's really creepy, but really cool too. I like the fact that despite the many Jerks that don't have anything better to do with their lives than to pick on their poor newspaper carriers, there are nice people who left me money and sincere thank you cards in their tubes today. Farewell nice people... and so long you BIG JERKS!!! I am going to be leaving flaming bags of pooh for you at a later date when you will have long forgotten me, but I wont have forgotten you!! K....

So, this morning was kinda strange. Have you ever had a day or a morning or even a moment when you've stopped and thought that a particular event is something you've seen in a movie? I guess a strange form of Deja Vu? I've always said my life is stranger than fiction and on days like these that feeling is reinforced. If I ever listen to that handful of friends of mine that tell me I need to write a book, this is one instance will have to be included. I don't even know if I can describe it in a way that would make people understand how strange. SO, I'm not. If you want to know, I'll tell you in person. But, I'm still kinda shaking my head. It made me think of other times that I have shook my head at strange things, and so, I'm re - posting some old blogs from my long deleted myspace account. Newspaper Delivery Adventures from the past. If you've read them before, you don't need to read them again. If you haven't - ENJOY!

RUBY

So, I haven't blogged in a while. I keep thinking I really should get on and get some stuff down, but then something else happens and the blog doesn't. So, here's a quick one before I go cook dinner.
I have been enjoying Ruby as she quickly approches her 1 year birthday. It's so unfair how quickly kids grow. My favorite thing about Ruby lately is that she signs. I was never able to get Xander to sign, but Ruby has picked it up and uses it often. She knows and uses the sign for more, food, water, please and all done. I'm working on more signs but it's handy that she knows these. I guess we've been starving the poor little girl. We usually would have let her down when she was fussy, but since she is signing we've found that she wants "more" and more and more to eat. It's just trying to figure out exactly what she wants more of. The other night it was broccoli, bacon and potatoes. She got a double dose of Mylicon that night. Last night it was the baked beans, again, a double dose of baby Mylicon.
At the store the other night Ken had a cookie and he was giving her bits of it to keep her entertained as we waited for our paint to be mixed. She had no trouble signing more, more, more and then milk as we walked through the store. Then last night was the topper. We were enjoying root beer floats, a family fave, and I gave her just a little bit and then told her "all done".
She was not happy about that. She fussed and fussed and then - so cute- she signed "please" over and over. Yes, I gave in and gave her some more. It was too cute.
Another exciting development is that she is walking. I'm so not ready for that, but she's still 2 months behind Xander. She probably would have been walking at 9 months too if she ever got down on the floor. Fun, fun, fun!

XANDER!!!

Anyone who knows me at all, knows Xander makes me want to pull my hair out. He's beyond high energy, strong willed and STUBBORN. I just don't know where he gets the strong willed or stubbornness from... no, really... I don't :)

I've recently decided that I would gladly take a two year old over a three year old and I am praying that a four year old wont make me wish that I had this three year old back. And, all this doesn't include the few days around the full moon. No, I'm not joking. He is seriously affected by the full moon. Same with the other little kids in our ward play group. If there is a week when the kids are exceptionally crazy and uncontrollable, 99% of the time it will be a full moon. The term Lunatic comes from that and all the werewolf stories had to be based on some sort of truth, right?

Don't get me wrong. I love Xander, I really do. I guess my mom would say something about paybacks... ARG! Even as I am writing this *sigh* I can't believe what a mess he can make with less than a teaspoon of milk. I love Xander. I ... really... do.

I promise I didn't start this post to gripe about Xander, I really just wanted to talk about the goofy things he's been doing lately. So, I'm acknowledging that he frustrates me, now I'm moving on...

Xander has an amazing imagination. It makes me happy since I think very few kids have imaginations these days. Xander's is exceptional. On a daily basis he'll decide that he's something... A triceratops, a pterodactyl, a giant robot, a tiger, an alligator... you get the point. I'm sure lots of kids do this, but Xander... oh Xander. This is an example of our ever day exchanges:

Me: "Xander, please take your pj's off and put on clean underwear and some clothes."

Xander: "Mommy, tell the giant robot to take his pj's off and put on clean clothes"

Me: "Giant robot, will you please take off your pj's and put on some clean clothes?"

Xander: "No, Giant Robots don't need to wear clothes."

OR

Me: "Xander, please go and get in the car."

Xander: "tell the alligator to go get in the car"

Me: "Alligator, will you please go get in the car?"

Xander: "Alligators swim mom, tell the alligator to swim to the car."

Me: "Xander, there isn't any water in the driveway and there are sharp things. Please don't walk on all fours. Just get in the car."

Xander "Mom! Tell the alligator to swim out to the car"

Me: "Alligator!! Get in the car!!"

Xander "Alligators don't drive mom.."

Me: "XANDER!!"

Can you imagine if he had an imaginary friend?! What kind of crazy adventures we'd have then.

On Guard, you land booger!

Not much to report has been going on lately, other than a constant reminder that I'm not to quit selling AVON as every time I think it about it, I get another couple calls. So, sorry Ken. You can't take the rest of the AVON stickers off the van yet.

I finished my first paid wedding cake last week. It turned out really pretty. I felt as though Grandma Gurr was admiring it from the other side and was very pleased as it was her favorite color. I could just hear her saying that it was the most beautiful cake she'd ever seen, I'm glad she approved. The bride loved it too and said it looked so perfect that everyone at the wedding thought it was fake until they cut it, so that was kinda cool.

There was a letter on our newspaper bundles this morning saying that the Juneau Empire wouldn't be going to an afternoon paper after all, at least not on Aug 17th like they originally said so my job is safe for the time being. I am currently looking for another job though, I don't want to deliver newspapers another winter. And, I'm sick and tired of being tired. The only thing is, finding a part time, evening job that will cover the rest of the bills that it needs to cover is going to be a challenge. Anyone need a cake baked?

Xander, as usual, continues to crack me up on a daily basis. He's only 3 yet he plays with words all the time. A few weeks ago he started saying "on guard, you land booger!" and we thought it was funny but we also corrected him and explained what a land "lubber" was and what not. But, he continued to say land booger. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised at my son, being a smarty pants.

Ruby has started jabbering more and more since our trip. I think it's because she got talked to a lot more down there than she gets talked to here. Mostly here, she gets growled at. Needless to say, she has started to growl again which I think is hilarious.

Ruby has cracked me up since she was born. I think that someone misinformed the little girl. I tell her all the time that babies really aren't supposed to say "waHHHH" nor do they really say "goo goo, ga, ga". Babies only talk like that in the movies. She doesn't seem to care and continues to say "Wahh" and "goo, goo, ga, ga." What a goof.

Today and yesterday made up for my not so great Monday. Xander was actually pretty funny. I was laying on the couch and he came up and blew on my nose. I asked him what that was all about and he said "I'm trying to blow you up." Well, that makes complete sense. I should have guessed that.

For dinner yesterday I tried to make sweet and sour meat balls over rice. I used a small ice cream scoop to make the meat balls because raw meat grosses me out. I guess they didn't get packed together good enough because they kind of spread out when they cooked. So, for dinner we had Meat blobs and "maggots". (For those unfamiliar with Calvin and Hobbes, "maggots" is rice.) We all sat around the table and cheered "meat blobs! meat blobs! meat blobs" and to the bat man theme "nah, na, nah, na, nah, na, nah, na, nah, na, nah, na, nah, MEAT BLOBS!" Even Ruby got into the fun and was clapping her hands and waving them in the air. Dinner was very tasty. Below is the recipe, I made it without the carrots because I didn't have any. I also didn't have any tomato paste so I used a large can of tomato sauce and it still turned out great.

http://www.recipezaar.com/Sweet-and-Sour-Meatballs-Oriental-Sweet-and-Sour-Meatballs-90355

Today Xander was a jet powered Pterodactyl. He said, "Mommy, I'm jet powered..." okay Xander. "Yeah, my butt is my engine." Okay... so you really are gas powered, "Yup. My butt is my engine." Gosh I love that little boy.

Ruby's ears are no longer oozing puss, so that is a good thing. But, in exchange for the oozing puss ears she now has antibiotic acid pooh. I've been putting acidophilus in her formula to help, but if it's not one thing, it's another.

Which brings to mind an advertisement I saw on TV this evening for a medication called Latisse (by the maker of Botox) that is supposed to thicken and lengthen your eye lashes. Yeah, you read that right. Eye lashes. Can you imagine the side effects for that??!! You've got to be kidding me! I guess one of the side effects of it is that it can change your eye color to brown or make your eyes have brown speckles. Holey moley folks. Why can't we just be happy with what God gave us? Three words for people who don't think mascara is enough: Fake eye lashes
enough said.

And last and certainly least is something that has been on my mind all day long. Miracle Whip vs Mayonnaise. I know it sounds weird, it's something I've never given much thought to until this last trip to Utah. I grew up in house that only uses Miracle Whip. No mayonnaise to be found. I remember thinking that mayonnaise was nasty and that was that. I think that most households only use one or the other but rarely both.

I'm not sure when I made my conversion to mayonnaise. Did it slowly happen? Did I become a mayo eater when I started dating Ken? Did I change to a mayo eater for him? When did I actually start buying mayo? And how on earth did I ever eat miracle whip? They say it has zip, but it tastes like rotten mayonnaise to me.

"Lost" Vegas and the Wedding of Puke

We just got back from "vacation". We flew from Juneau to Seattle, Seattle to Las Vegas then drove from Vegas to Provo, Utah all in one day. The kids did really well, until the last 100 miles. Ruby started to scream and would only calm down when we sang Kaiser Chiefs "Ruby" to her over and over. Needless to say I don't really know ALL of the words so we started making them up. Some how "Ruby" became "Xander" and good times were had by all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d14511Amd08&feature=fvst

We had tons of fun things planned while we were in Provo. I kind of over do it when we travel. Always have, but I think I've gotten worse since we've been living in a land locked community. I plan so many things when we get "down South" My Aunt Joan asks to see my Itinerary because she knows I print one off along with travel conf and map quest directions to various places. This trip was no different. We were going to the Zoo, on the Heber Creeper, the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point, the Farm at Thanksgiving point, in addition to the usual 4th of July celebrations and my sisters wedding.

Thursday the 2nd: One of the many things we promised Xander we would do was go on a train ride. Aside from the trains in the airports, we wanted to take him on the Heber Creeper. He loved it and his head was out the window the whole time. He likes Thomas the train so I knew he'd love this. I think Ken was disappointed that it didn't go faster. Apparently he wasn't listening when we called it a "creeper". It really is fun to play tourist in your own town sometimes.

After the train we went to the Dinosaur Museum. You never know what a 3 year old is going to like... "mom, I want to see a dinosaur eat a bone." or "mom, dinosaurs are astinked huh?" I thought he would understand, but he really didn't. With all the back ground noises and after a small scare where Madisen and I set him up, he wanted out. "mom! get me somewhere safe! lets get out of here!!" Oh, well. Maybe when he's older he'll enjoy it a little more.

Friday the 3rd: Ken and I got to go to Sundance to hear the Utah Symphony and do our "when ever we make it to Utah" get together with Abby and Winter. This year was a momentous one as Winter was not a 5th wheel. We got to meet her hubby and we approve. And even though he was in 5th grade when we graduated high school, the age difference isn't really that big of a deal ;) The concert was wonderful and the weather was perfect. However, it was a good thing that the concert was outside or else we probably would have been kicked out for being to rowdy.
The 4th of July Parade was fun, Ken took pictures of all the floats and the fancy cars. My favorite part is visiting with all my extended family. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins. This year was the first that GGG's (Grandma or Grandpa Gurr) weren't there. That was very strange. I miss them but I am glad they are no longer suffering and are together and reunited with family members that previously passed. We went to "the park" for the annual picnic and traditional fare of Hamburgers, Hot dogs, Stan's Gyros, homemade ice cream, angel food cake, Reed's Cotton Candy etc. Our regular family get together is like most peoples family reunions. There is also the fountain of fun that the kids look forward to every year. Who needs a pool, right?

We set off fireworks with Xander and Ken kind of freaked out. Fireworks are illegal in Juneau, always have been. It does seem strange that you can set fireworks off in a desert but not in a rain forest. You can't even find sparklers in the stores which has always driven me crazy. All you can get are poppers and can you just say LAME. Not to say that the people here don't get illegal fireworks just like people in Utah do, but Ken's dad was a fire marshal so that was out of the question for him. I think Xander had fun with the sparkler and watching the fireworks. Maybe someday he'll realize what a treat that was.

Sunday after dinner I initiated Brian into our family with a round of Chubby Bunny. It was hilarious! Of course, my chubby bunny hubby won with 13 marshmallows. The only person I know that could beat that was Jenny McCoard. I remember one girls camp where she got 23. Crazy fun!

Monday the 6th: After spending all day long baking cakes from 9:30 am to 4:45pm, I came "home" and helped get everyone loaded up for family night at the farm at Thanksgiving point. Again, you just never know with a 3 year old. I thought he'd enjoy seeing the cow milked and what not but he could have cared less. "mom, cows pee out milk huh?" No Xander, cows pee out pee. The kids sure did like the pony rides though, and feeding the goats and sheep. Kim's son Tristan laughed his head off as the animals licked the food off his hand. Then there was our stingy Xander giving each animal 1 corn kernel at a time. What a goof.

Tuesday almost the whole family went to the Zoo. Xander kept saying "keep moving, keep moving" he was really only interested in the Elephants and the Giraffe. Again, you just never know. It was so stinking hot, I thought I was going to melt. Tuesday night my Aunt threw a shower for Kylee. It was fun, but my mom got mad at me for giving her a pair of "prostitute panties" and a tank top. Come on! It was a bridal shower right? And the underwear was actually not that racy. Oh, well!

Wednesday I spent the day filling and frosting the cakes. I never realized how much work it would be to make such a massive cake. It probably wouldn't have been so bad with a commercial mixer and multiple ovens but I didn't have either of those. It was most certainly a labor of love. The madness and insanity was getting worse at my mothers house and it felt as though you were in a scene from the movie Father of the Bride. Crazy. All the nonsense that a wedding becomes and how quickly the actual event is over.

I can't remember what day it was but Kylee was getting ready to go have some bridal shots done. She was all dressed up and looked beautiful. Whenever Xander sees someone who he think looks really pretty he calls them a princess. My mom was doing Kylee's hair and sprayed her in the eye with hair spray so she stomped off in only the fashion that is Kylee. Xander said, "mom, she is NOT a princess" I said she looks like a princess to me... "NO mom. She is NOT a princess!!" Observations made by 3 year olds are the best.

Thursday: "Wedding of Puke" Kylee's wedding was beautiful. Joey Murdoch let us use his back yard and all of my mom's family worked like crazy to pull this thing off. It was SO hot outside. I'm surprised the cake didn't completely melt off the table. Kim's kids got sick and she wasn't able to come. She'd come up from St George for the wedding, but at least she got to spend time with the family. Ruby and Xander had kind of been taking turns not feeling well the whole trip. It's hard on little kids that are used to a schedule to go through some of this. After the ceremony, Ruby puked. She Puked and puked and puked. We weren't sure if it was a bug or heat exhaustion. Maybe a combo of both. Xander was ornery the whole time because all he wanted was some "green cake" and he wasn't going to calm down until he got some. When they finally cut the grooms cake, they gave him the first piece and he was a VERY happy boy.

Later Maleah puked so much it looked like a scene from a cult classic minus the pea soup. The worst part was her parents were no where to be found. I also found out the one of my cousin's kids passed out. Exciting stuff.

Friday we had planned on leaving my moms by 1 to make it to Vegas before it was too late. I couldn't bring myself to leave my moms house in the condition that it was, so by the time I cleaned and packed and shipped the two boxes full of clothes, we didn't get out of the house until 5pm. Xander kept saying "mom, I want to go to lost vegas" which we thought was pretty funny until we got to Vegas and the one time I don't print of map quest directions to get to hotel is the one time we really need them. The trip was long, Ruby was feverish, Xander puked "french fry puke" and we had to throw a perfectly good outfit away. It was 1:30 before we were in the hotel bed. Our flight left at 7 the next day and we barely made it.

The hotel was gorgeous but not family friendly. Ken put it best when he said "Any hotel with a Ferrari dealership in the hotel, is probably not a hotel for us"

While boarding the plane in Seattle, a man in first class was taking a while getting settled. In Xander's own special way, he "honked" at the man and pushed past. Everyone was laughing hysterically and my face was probably scarlet. One man said he probably just did what everyone else was thinking. Hmmm... there is really no question he is my son then.

What a trip!